So I officially trained Damien on using the potty. It took blood, sweat, and tears...and none of them came from Damien :) But in the end, we did it. My little boy can now use the potty. Thank G-O-D!
Sometimes I still get sad thinking about how much Damien's dad misses out on. I wonder how he could just not care about him and not call for days or only call to harass ME. It hurts and sometimes I still get sad but then I stop and think...would he really care even if he were still here?
My therapist (yes I go to one and no I dont care if you call me crazy) says to always stop and think about the reality of things. She told me "Do you really think Nate would be as happy as you are about potty training Damien? Do you think he could even do it alone like you did?" The answer is a big FUCK NO! Nate was never really into things like that and really didn't get the same joy out of things that I did. So why do I care really?
The answer is...I'm delusional lol. Nate would NEVER be able to do half the shit I do or did with Damien. He can barely take care of himself let alone another kid. So when I get sad about Nate missing out I always think that I am Superwoman. I am able to bathe, dress, feed, potty train, heal, and "make-it-all better" all on my own. Nate doesn't even have the ability to bathe himself let alone another child.
So yea. I am Superwoman and I'm damn proud that I potty trained my kid alone. I'm the shit and Damien will understand that one day...all on his own like his momma :)