I wanted to clear the air regarding some funny "Frequently Asked Questions" that have been broached to me or one of our Assistant Organizers. When I first heard these questions, I thought it was funny that one of you would ask, but then, as more and more people began to ask the same questions, I thought to myself, "Hmmm, perhaps I should say something, so the Sisters don't get the wrong impression about our group..."
So here they are...and please, if you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to shout them out to me or one of our Assistant Organizers. Don't hesitate -- communicate!
Q: Are the members of your group man-haters?
A: *chuckles* No, we are not man-haters. If you've been to one of our meetups, you'd know that we LOVE men! *wink wink* Seriously, though, during certain conversations, we may relate to one another our own painful or troubled experiences with the fathers of our children, but it is only our way of processing what we've been through...as you know, women are not only the fairer sex, but also the more emotionally vocal, and it is therapeutic for us to be able to talk about our experiences with each other ("talk therapy," if you will). Some of us may have lingering feelings of pain, regret or ill will towards the fathers of our children, but deep down, we know that ALL men are not created equal -- that there are good men out there.
Q: So why don't you allow men at your meetups?
The only males we allow at our meetups (with the exception of Mommies Only Nights -- only Sisters and female "framily" members are allowed at those events) are the male children of our Sisters. We're called Sisters In Arms, not Brothers and Sisters In Arms for a reason -- because the focus of our group is on Sisterhood, fostering female friendships and empowering women to be strong and independent single moms. As stated previously, during our meetups, we offer our fellow Sisters the opportunity to talk about everything and anything that's on their minds -- sex, love, marriage, sex, divorce, dating, sex, weight gain, work, and oh, did I mention sex? We talk about myriad different topics as it relates to our lives, and many of the Sisters might feel uncomfortable with an adult male presence (whether boyfriend, cousin, friend, father or significant other) lingering in our midst.
I will give you a personal example -- I do not bring my father (who, for all intents and purposes, is the "father figure" in my son's life) because I realize that some of the Sisters in our group don't have any friends or family members who can be a male "father figure" type in their childrens' lives, and it would be insensitive of me to bring that kind of uncomfortable vibe into the group.
Q: Are the members of our group allowed to date/have boyfriends?
A: Sisters, you have no idea how hard -- or loud -- I laughed when I heard this question for the first time. And then another person asked me the same question. And then another. I said to myself, "Geez, people, we're not a CULT!" Sisters, while we do not allow adult males in our group or at our meetups, I wholeheartedly encourage you -- when and if you are ready -- to go out, date, and find love again. I know all too well that it's getting damn cold at nights and hell, even I want a tall, handsome man to snuggle with at night. We are still warm-blooded women with needs, aren't we? That didn't change after we became moms!
Sisters, the group is here for you so that you can make kindred connections with some really great women, who also happen to be single moms. Whatever you do outside of the group and meetups is up to you. You will not be removed for having a life or relationship outside of the group, in fact, it is my hope that each and every one of you finds true and lasting happiness -- with or without a man in your life.